Reality Check on My Heart

As I sat in "my" pew at church, we were asked to turn our Bibles to Romans. To be honest, I didn't hear what verse Alan had told us, but I turned it to where I thought he had said and instead found a scripture that has been heavy on my heart ever since.

1"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. 2Now we know that God's judgement against those who do such things are based on truth. 3So when you, a mere man, pass judgement on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgement?"   

Romans 2:1-3

As we are getting closer and closer to our court hearing, we have been taken back through all the events that have occurred in the past six years leading up to the present day. As we sort through bad decision after bad decision, I can't help but feel anger all over again. Going over in my mind "what was she thinking?" and "she will pay for this", forgetting that she is just another lost soul in this world. I have "wiped my hands clean" of her family with my mind "made up" on how I feel about them, passing my own judgement on their situations in their personal lives. I have held a grudge on their family for their deceiving actions and lie upon lie that has not only effected me...but rather, me, my husband, our daughter Bailee, our family, our extended family, their family, our friends...we have all, at some point, even at it's most minute measurement, have been effected in some way by this one person's actions. Sitting here talking about it again, I can feel my face turning red and my blood pressure rising, when in fact, I should be feeling compassion and mercy, for she is only human like me. I can't help feeling like I am better than her...and that alone makes me mad all over again. How can I let her make me feel this way? Is she making me feel this way? Or am I to blame somehow for getting to this point? We still have much more prepping to go over and witnesses to talk to before the dreaded day. I know that God has shown me this passage and it has shaken me. He knows my heart and I am ashamed. 

So I write this asking for some serious prayer, for everyone involved, but specifically for me and my heart, that my heart will be softened in this situation with this family. I would also ask for serious prayer for Kyle as he has to sit on the witness stand and be poked and prodded all over again. Prayer that his nerves be calmed and his temper tamed.

We are so very ready for this to all be over and done with, keeping in mind that whatever decision is made, it will be God's Will.

Giving God the Glory out of Every Situation...

Well, several things have happened since we've last talked....First off, Kyle and I meet with our attorney this week to start making our game plan for court. I would lie if I said I wasn't nervous, but I don't really know why. I KNOW that we are doing what is right and that we ARE the best place for her...if you don't know what I'm talking about, you will need to go back to earlier posts to catch up :) I've given this situation to God and trust in Him and His time. So I keep telling myself just to CHILL OUT!!! Anyway, that's coming up this Thursday and then we actually go to court on Friday Feb. 10th. YIKES!! That's coming up fast. That's another post all in itself...

Kyle started back to school today. He hasn't even gone to his first class yet and I already miss him. We had such a great holiday break that it's going to be really hard to get adjusted again. But I'm just so proud of him!! He is taking 5 classes this semester!! I am pretty sure he is superman...full time job, husband, daddy and a full time student....I can't even fathom. So, lots of prayers going out to him and all of our other friends who have started back to school. When you have a family, it just makes it difficult...for everyone involved.

Christmas is over and it is STILL starting to get busy again. Birthday parties, Valentine's Day, baby showers....I swear it is just never-ending!! By the way, I am pretty sure that every other woman that I know is pregnant!! And that's ok with me. I will gladly go to their showers, as long as it isn't me :)

I went to one of the most amazing funerals yesterday...morbid, I know. But it was just so special. A young girl at our church has been battling cancer for almost two years and passed away last week. She was 16 years old and one of the best Christian examples to her peers I have EVER seen. 

Isn't she beautiful?!!

When you met her, you KNEW she loved her God. Even through her battle she never gave in. She was faithful until the very end. I did not personally know her, but have been praying for her, her family, and attending benefits to raise money the whole time. Emotionally, my family has been very invested in her and her family. But back to the service...it was beautiful. The amount of flowers from loving friends and family were shocking. There were pink balloons all over the auditorium, which was her favorite color. The place was packed with her family, church family, friends...people that she had truly touched in her short life. It was so inspiring!! There were actually people going up to the balcony to find somewhere to sit!! It wasn't like any other funeral I have ever been to. It was truly a celebration of her life. There were songs, poems, letters, the most amazing slide show that  told the complete story of her life. After the service was done, everyone took a balloon and gathered together outside. All at once, we lifted our balloons to Madison.

 It was perfect...Please pray for her family and friends that were close to her as they mourn the loss of such a precious young lady.

 We love you Madison and will never forget the impact that you have made in this world.

Last One...I Promise!

Well, we had one more Christmas that we went to this year and it has taken several days to figure out what I want to say about it. If you have read my very first post EVER, you will know that my mom and I are on two very different pages. We are not going to go into that, but needless to say...I wasn't looking forward to going as much as the other Christmas's. 

But, we will get back to our evening...we showed up late. Shock, I know, but in my defense, it had snowed ALL day. So it took me longer to stop, get a Sprite and drive clear across town...but we finally arrived. 

Everything went fine. I think everyone was just exhausted from the long day. No one was jumping up and down just so excited or anything, but we all had a good time and stayed way too long. With no nap, Madison is less than fun :) Here are a few pics....

Kenzie CAN. NOT. wait to go shopping!

He couldn't figure out what toy would be that small. LOL!!

They are both opening our family picture :)

Bailee adding more to her tab...

"Look, Mom! I have three dollars!" Ha ha ha!!

Mom's new blanket. She's always cold!

Me and my little man :)

My brother "fake-smiling" his brains out! LOL!!!

I don't know how, but somehow Hali managed to not be in a single picture...and I have a feeling she planned it that way :) Sneaky....

The theme this year was definitely money for the kids. Kenzie and Bailee are getting harder and harder to buy for and it's better all the way around to just give them money. Everybody wins :) This is very new for Madison and Braxton, however. They were not very excited when they opened it, but let me assure you they were more than thrilled when they could go to the store and actually buy something. Braxton spent all of his money on a Mobigo game system. 

He was so excited to get something in the mail!

His new Mobigo and game, Kung Fu Panda 2

I was very reluctant to let him spend ALL of his money on this one game, but we spent so much time at Toys 'R Us and he couldn't find anything he wanted...except this game. I couldn't get him away from it. And he was actually playing it correctly! Without any help! So, we went back to Mimi and Papa's and found it cheaper online. We saved enough money that he was able to also buy the game he was playing at the store. We just got it in the mail a couple of days ago and I have already had to change the batteries.

There's no stopping him!!

It's just like a Leapster in the fact that it is a learning game, but I think this one is more fun. I don't know how to even explain that to you, but it is :)

Anyway, I have had one of the best Christmas holidays ever, but I am glad it is all over. Glad to have some normalcy at home. I'm already getting ideas for next year, but until then....time to break out the Valentine's Day decor! Ha ha ha!! I'm sure Kyle will be thrilled! LOL!!!

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Back to Reality :(

Ugh!!! Can I just say how much I DON'T want to go back to work next week?! This is the first year where I have truly enjoyed my Christmas break. We are all out of diapers and completely potty trained, by "we" I obviously mean "they" :) They have minimal melt downs and FINALLY get along with each other. It is so much fun for me to listen to them playing together in the play room. Even though there is significant age differences, they always manage to fit parts in for each other in their role playing games. They can be so sweet sometimes :) Anyway, I'm just not ready to go back to reality. I wish I could just stay home all day and do nothing....

I really need to get back into the routine of things though. Next week we are back into high gear...work, school, gymnastics, ballet...after long breaks like this, I wonder how I did it all before. But it will be nice to be back into a regularly scheduled day. It's fun to get to be lazy, but it does get old after a while, and it will be good to start making money again :) That's always a positive incentive.

Kyle is starting a new semester soon. We have one more week of Daddy time and then it's "bye-bye Daddy". His new class schedule is the one we have all been dreading...Monday through Friday until almost 10 o'clock at night. Family nights are going to be more important than ever. I keep telling myself that this is not forever and eventually this would be his schedule anyway. Better just to get it done and out of the way. Right?... I mean, right. I am just really going to miss him, and the kids too. Just continue to lift us up in your daily prayers. Thanks :)

So, I have to tell you about our new plans to get the heck out of this house. I know, I know...but I'm not crazy. Just determined. Ok, so back to our plan. Here it is:

DO NOT LOOK AT ANYMORE HOUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January- Finish the kitchen completely...painting, hardware and crown molding (the cheap kind)...that's right. I STILL haven't finished my "easy" kitchen project from last year. Ugh!

February- Start and COMPLETE kitchen and bathroom floors. That's it!

March- Finish painting the outside of the house, garage and patch the fence.

April- Deep clean and de-clutter the house...

End of April, beginning of May- put the house on the market...

I think it is a reasonable plan with plenty of time to complete each task. We are very excited to finally feel like we are moving forward with our goal. Luckily, the only two houses that we have completely loved, have both turned out to be not right for our family with no question about it. Now we can focus on our house without distraction and KNOW that God will provide the "perfect" house for our family when the time is right...in His time. It's so awesome when we have those moments when we KNOW God is opening our eyes, piece by piece, to His plan for us. We just needed to STOP and listen. I love FEELING He is with me and most of the time, I am just too selfish and busy to even notice. It just makes me feel so loved. :) 

I think I have rambled long enough, so I will leave you with this...

Isaiah 12:2

"Surely God is my salvation;

I will trust and not be afraid.

The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;

he has become my salvation."

Home Sweet Home

Christmas at my Dad's house is always my favorite. We can relax, be ourselves and just have a good time. We always watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We have been doing this for as long as I can remember and my Dad still cracks up like it was his first time to ever see it! So funny! For whatever reason, we didn't watch it this year...just weird.

First, we had lunch. A big, over the top Christmas lunch complete with turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, roles...you name it, we probably ate it. And, of course, I ate wayyyyy too much.

Lets EAT!!

That's a good looking bunch ;)

Then, we rolled ourselves to the living room for presents...Our Christmas CAN. NOT. officially start until the "Christmas Bell" has been rung...another tradition we have done since I was little. Now that there are grand kids involved (my kids are, so far, the only grand kids), they take turns every year ringing the bell. This year, it was Madison's turn...

I couldn't believe she did it..she usually throws a fit or gets embarrassed when everyone is watching her. So proud :)

There was then the usual opening gifts, smiles of gratitude and a huge mess to clean up, but it was so much fun to watch!! So here is another extensive slide show :)

Her Tangled Princess...so sweet!

Dad and his mechanical Santa hat

Braxton got a new chair!!

Chronicles of Narnia Series

Whoop Whoop!!! Nothing better than a Swiffer!

My girls love to read :)

Gigi book...LOVE the Gigi series!!

Zebra sleeves....she loved them!!

Another train for his train set!!

Halleluiah!!!!! Their lives were changed...LOL!!

Now I have to stop to say that this was one of the highlights of the night. Hali has been wanting a coat rack for her new house and, of course, was not expecting to get it at all...the coat rack has already been assembled, but is kind of hard to see...Hali's expression was priceless and what happens next...I hardly have words....

Now that we have that out of the way...moving on...

Me and my brother :)

New fridge!!!!

She got pickled! Ha ha ha!!!

Yayyy!!! I got a new house phone!!!!

They got a Wii and I missed their reactions :(

The Christmas pickle was a huge hit this year!

A pickle and a blanket, what more can a girl ask for? LOL!!

The kids made ornaments for Mimi and Papa this year...

Mimi opened two and Papa opened two...they loved it!!

Rocking her new baby in her new chair :)

I think they are tired of me taking their pictures...

Now that the presents have been opened, and the mess was ridiculous...time for desert!!!! Pumpkin pie, pecan pie, peanut brittle and puppy chow...ummm, yes please.

When we could not eat another bite, we crawled back to the living room for some Wii action. I have a confession......I have never played the Wii....I played three times on the Whack-A-Mole and couldn't move my arm for two days!!!!!

Did I mention that the snow is falling so hard!! It is absolutely beautiful! I can't even remember the last time it snowed on Christmas like this. And my dumb face only got one picture...

OF MY BROTHER'S BUTT SHOVELING THE SNOW!!!! Why the heck didn't we get our butts outside to take some pictures!?! Oh, I know why...because we were too busy stuffing our faces and opening presents!!! Uhhh!! I am so mad at myself! Oh, well...I guess you will have to take my word on it...it was gorgeous.
This has been such a perfect day and we still have another Christmas to go. But until then...Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Bring. It. On. 2012!!!

I am so tired of making New Year's resolutions....all it does is set me up for failure and I don't need any more help in that area. They talk about lifestyle changes on Biggest Loser...that's the secret. No more crash diets or psychotic workouts that just burn you out after a few months (know from recent experience). We all need to set reasonable goals for our LIFE, not what we think we need to feel better at the time. Long term, people, LONG TERM!! Healthy choices, financial responsibility, priorities at home... I have made a list of things that I am going to strive to do in this new year...reasonable things...here goes. 

1. Make a monthly cleaning chart for my house

2. Use it :)

3. Carry my Bible to church EVERY time I go.

4. Be more affectionate with my husband and my kids.

5. Organize my home in a more useful way.

6. Learn to say "No"...sometimes I just can't do it all.

7. Always find the positive in EVERY situation.

8. Trust GOD more...

9. Stay smoke and coca-cola free....it has been 6 months already! WOW!!

10. Wear clothes other than pajamas :)

11. Manage my time better.

12. Let my walls down to build stronger relationships.

13. Volunteer my time...somewhere in our community.

14. Take my kids to the park more than once a summer :)

15. No more procrastinating....never mind, that's not a reasonable goal. LOL!

16. Take more risks socially.

17. Live at a different address...we WILL move this year dangit!!!!

18. Keep in better contact with friends and family out of town.

19. Set up financial goals for our future.

20. Study my Bible, at least weekly even though I should more...

21. Expand my cooking skills...or the lack thereof.

22. Be more active in my children's spiritual growth.

23. Have green grass again :) That was fun :)

24. LIGHTEN UP!!! Everything doesn't have to be so serious all the time...

25. Get a pet...I have to give in eventually.

26. Laugh...

27. Make more "us" time with my hubby

28. Keep up with my laundry...LOL!!

29. Patience....that's a scarey one!

30. Less TV time, more Family time...love our family nights, just need them more often :)

I think 30 is more than plenty of things to work towards a new life. Notice I did not put, "Make time for the gym". I did that to myself last year and did great...for a while. I was so disappointed in myself. I will make a workout schedule for myself, but sometimes I just won't be able to go. 

If anyone else wants to make (and share) their list, I think accountability is the best way for success. I am really looking forward to this new year and what God has planned for us.