Dreams Do Come True

Where do I even begin?

Last time I posted, my life was on an upward climb.......more rapidly than anticipated, but no complaints here.

It's been almost a year since my last update. The time has flown by and I did my best not to blink and miss it.
Just so much joy.....

And now?

My life is full of more blessings than I could ever begin to count. But lets start with the most obvious....LOPEZ!!!!

Yep!! I am a married woman!!

Who?? What?? When?? Where?? Why?? How??

Well, here's the answer to all.....mostly :)

Joe.

MY   Joe.

Our first picture together May 2014.

First of many selfies that would be taken....

Laughing....such a simple concept. I mean, most of us do it everyday. You know, hearing a dumb joke from a co-worker (or close family friend, uh-hum...dick archer), or giggling at something silly your kids did or even when someone gives you a compliment you weren't expecting (maybe I'm the only one that does that). But that's not the kind of laughing I'm talking about.

I'm talking about laughing so hard you snort because you've lost all control to breathe like a normal human being. You are now a pig and can do nothing but snort louder and more violently because you can NOT stop the insanity.

Like laughing so hard you cry. Not cry like a glistening tear rolling down your check as you gently chuckle...umm, no. I'm talking ugly! Tears pouring, makeup running, snot blowing, full blown belly laughs that double you over in pain from your stomach muscles cramping. Even your face feels permanently disfigured...LAUGHING!!
Pure joy and laughter, because you cannot have one without the other.

Something my life has been lacking.

But not anymore! Thank you, Lord!!!

There is laughter in our house!!

Ok, so back to the whole "I'm married" thing.

May 12th 2014.

My life changed that day. Little did I know I had just met the man I would later call my husband.

So, we met on Christian Mingle. Yep. The internet. I've never been a huge fan of the internet dating scene. Just soooo many horror stories. And in my mind, that wasn't a romantic way to meet someone. But who am I kidding? I didn't need romance. Not after the roller coaster from hell I'd been on.....

 I still had my reservations about it though, for several reasons.

First, I trust people waaaaayyyy to easily. There are some sick freaks out there!! Yes, even on a Christian dating site. And I knew that. Which is why I had to be very careful. I didn't want to end up on the news as a missing person only to turn up 10 years later after being discovered chained up in someone's basement...no.

Second, "Hello. My name is Mary and I am a doormat". "Jump off of a bridge? Ok."
I was really trying to find myself and I didn't want to wake up one day and realize I was right back where I started.

Third, like I said before. It doesn't make for a very romantic story....I'm not completely unrealistic, but, selfishly, I still want the fairy tale.

And quite frankly, I had very little faith that I would find anyone with any sort of moral value. It's a show! The internet is just a show. A way to hide behind a computer and make up a life that is perfect. Everything you've ever dreamed of...and once you've emotionally invested, the ugly truth shows its face. And none of that interested me.

But I'm still a sucker for the fairy tale. And decided, despite my better judgment, I'd see what all the fuss was about.

Approximately a month.

That's how long I browsed before he found me. And even then, it took me a while to decide whether or not I would respond to him.

I did. Duh.

We talked back and forth for about a week before we decided to meet.

Talk about Ner.Vous!! I was shaking like a leaf when he came to pick me up. Yep. You heard me. Little Ms. I Trust Everyone just gave a stranger her address. What?! Pull your head out girl!! Sheesh! That should be on Internet Dating 101, but I........but nothing. No excuse. That was just stupid. Period. Luckily, once again, God had my back. Instead of teaching me a lesson on common sense with a sick nut, he gave me a free pass with a charming and handsome cowboy.

I loved our first date. It was perfect.

Dinner at Red Lobster. Putt putt at Sports World in the middle of the Dust Bowl and then drinks at 7 Bar & Grill. The conversation was great! No awkward silence (like all of us introverts worry about).
Just fun.

Made our relationship official (on FB of course) on August 1st, 2014

at the play Texas in Palo Duro Canyon

His story is pretty similar to mine, which I love because he knows exactly how I feel sometimes. He's already been there and done that. So there's no guessing when a situation pops up. We both understand each other. Finally! Someone who understands me...mostly. He already knows what my future (with kids) holds. The struggles, the expense, the utter chaos!!!....and he picked me anyway!! Some day, when my kids are parents themselves (when they are graduated from college, in their 30's and married....in that order!!!), my kids will truly appreciate the man he is to them and for them.

He has three kids too....we are the Brady Bunch!!!!

Two sons and a daughter, which makes three of each....like the Brady Bunch. ;)

I haven't had the chance to get to know his daughter since she doesn't live here, but those boys? They are something else. I've never been more impressed with two "juvenile delinquents"...as my dad would call them. They are the most polite, respectful and, mostly, responsible young men that I have come across in a long time. A true representation of a great daddy. And of course, my son is their biggest fan.

A very proud daddy

Thanksgiving 2014


Being his girlfriend.........best time of my life!!
From the phone calls that lasted until early morning hours, the date nights, the last minute mini weekend trips, to the times just sitting on the couch watching a movie.....the BUTTERFLIES!! All of it was just perfect. I don't know if I will ever be able to accurately express to him how much I love him. But I have a long time to try....the rest of my life to be exact. ;)

I could go on and on and on and on........and will in a future post (we haven't even gotten to the proposal yet :)......but what it boils down to is, he is my gift from God and our lives have been blessed 100% by this man.







I'm Back and Stronger than Before

I am pleased to announce......that I am still alive!!!

 

It has been almost 20 months since my last post. And in those 20 months, my life has crumbled out from under me and the pieces rearranged in such a mind-blowing way.

 

Most of the people able to read this already know a lot of what's gone on in the past year and a half, but very few know the mental torture and absolute hell I've dealt with in my own mind. Feelings that I pray and BEG  God to protect my kids from ever knowing.

 

I'm not in the business of talking bad about people. We all make mistakes, some with more severe consequences than others, but I've made my fair share.  So there will be no dirty details from me....

 

But I guess for those who are not aware, I am now living my life as a single mom. As the events unraveled on that late September day, the years of built up anger helped blind me from the heartache I would eventually feel as the week progressed. Surprisingly though, the heartache I felt wasn't for me, but for my kids. I come from a split home, so I know kids can survive and live a mostly normal life. But growing up with the dream of my own family someday, I knew I was going to do it differently. They were going to have all the things that I didn't have.....I'm pretty sure everyone says that, but I didn't think having both parents was too much to ask.

 But the dream was real and, in my mind, was not  unobtainable.

 

"How hard could it be?"....says the 18 year old little girl....

 

"He loves me."......yea, today. The idea of him not loving me forever

 

never. crossed. my. mind.

 

Man! I wish I could go back and slap some sense into her.

 

For me, commitment and faithfulness is easy. In my 18 year old little brain, I had no idea that this could be more difficult for other people. Totally naïve and overtaken by the butterfly-feelings......that eventually disappeared. 

 

All of that to say, I have spent a LOT of time self-reflecting.

 

What could I have done differently?

What role did I play in it all?

Where did I mess up?

 

Worst conversations with myself EVER!!!

(but great for me when I opened up to some of my closest friends)

 

But after the first few weeks, routinely, my life really hadn't changed at all. I had been doing it by myself for years without ever really realizing it. God had been preparing me for my new role for a while and he had finally opened my eyes to it. It was amazing!! All the times I felt so worthless and insecure, He was taking care of me!! Little ole me!! He had paved the way....my own personal "Ah Ha!!" moment. (Glory obviously given all to God)

 

This realization, undoubtedly, changed everything for me. There was no questioning God's hand at work. You couldn't! There was just too many things He did for me. I felt myself becoming more confident, something I've lacked for some time now. I'm going to be okay.

 

And my kids? They are amazing. And from the circumstances, was another God-given gift. Divorce in the eyes of a child, can mean so many different things. Have so many different outcomes. But my kids? They're just......amazing. Not perfect, but amazing in their own unique ways.

 

Sooo.....the pieces in my life are starting to come back together. Stronger. Wiser. More Humble. and less naïve. The dream I had for my kids....gone. But I'm starting to figure out that God's dream for them is soooo much better. If I just continue to trust Him, I KNOW my life will be full.

 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

 

 

.......To Be Continued ;)

Spring "Break"...Yea, Right!

For all of you moms out there, you'll understand when I say having a "week off" is an absolute joke. My relaxing week off with the kids for Spring Break has undoubtedly turned into a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of busy. We had no real plans to speak of and yet I have not had a chance to sit and relax. So I have had zero chance to blog this whole week. But the kids are gone now, so we'll see how far I get....

I don't even know if I've told you, but our house is officially for sale. 

 Halleluiah!!!!

 It's been on the market since last November. It's been really slow showing, but I have been totally ok with that. It's given us a chance to get into a routine of keeping the house clean. It is now March and I am still trying to figure out that routine. It is sooooo hard keeping the house "spotless". I have found a special place in my heart for a messy house. The time I spend trying to keep everything clean is ridiculous!! I am praising the good Lord that I don't have OCD! I am pretty sure either me or the kids would be dead by now if I did! Lol!! It is nice coming home to a clean house though. I've never really known what that feels like. I'm diggin' it :)

Everyone keeps asking us where we are looking to buy and our answer is, we don't know. We aren't even going to start looking until we've sold this house. It is so much harder to sell these days, I just don't want to find the perfect house and then have it yanked out from under us because this one didn't sell in time. I just pray that it sells soon because our oldest starts middle school in 5 months and I really want her to go to a different school.

Anyway, so our house is for sale. Tell all of your friends!!

Hmmmm.....

Ok, lets back up a bit. Christmas. 

We had a pretty good Christmas if I do say so myself. The kids finally got what they have been begging me for for years.....

 We are officially pet owners!!

 I have been dodging that bullet for as long as I could. I finally gave in, but with the condition that we would do it the cliche way. Every kids' dream is to open a box Christmas morning with a puppy and/or kitten inside. So, that's what we did. :)

They were so surprised! My dad video tapped the whole thing and I wish I could post that on here. Maybe I can get a clip of the video and post it on here sometime. It was a priceless moment. I think it scared Bubba though. Lol!! Instead of instinctively grabbing one of the animals, he stood up as if he were going to run away. Lol!! They love those babies so much.

It is so crazy how different dogs and cats really are. Charlie is sooooo needy. And Gracie is not. I love them both very much, but I am positive that I am more of a cat kinda girl....or maybe an "older dog" kinda girl. Lol!! Speaking of, we were actually dog-sitting for some friends of ours over the Christmas holiday and I think she was just as surprised to see those babies jump out of the box.

Meet our "older dog".

We have been keeping Chi Chi for our friends for quite a while now and she has definitely spoiled me to what I thought life would be like with a dog. It has been very different though. :)

OH!! I almost forgot! We have a big announcement to make....


Drum roll please........

 
 We have been Smoke-Free since January 1st!!!!!
Happy New Year's to us!!


And it has been soooooo hard. After the first couple of weeks, we were doing pretty good. We started watching a new show on Netflix recently and we've really gotten into it. So much so that we are staying up until midnight sometimes trying to watch another episode. How dumb is that?!? "Just one more. Just one more." Idiots! Anyway, all they do on this show, I swear, is SMOKE!! At first I thought it was just me. So I didn't want to say anything thinking I was just being weak. But last week, Kyle is the one that pointed out how much they smoked and how much he had been craving one lately too. So did we stop watching it to keep us from relapsing? Of course not! Instead, we are staying up later trying to finish all of the episodes as fast as we can.

STUPID. STUPID. STUPID!!!!!

We will be done with the show tonight, thank goodness. But I'm sure the desire to smoke isn't going to just disappear. Prayers for our strength would be much appreciated. :)



Ummmmm.......well, I think I am going to stop there. My kids are home and making it difficult to get much more accomplished.

So, hopefully I will talk again soon :)