You Can't Escape Change

 

May......denial.

 

 

 

Me and May have a love/hate relationship.

 

I love it in the fact that it means my hectic morning routine and all of the homework and parent meetings and school lunch bills and fundraisers and sports and last minute projects and just ALL of the stresses of school is finally coming to a much needed end for a few months. A nice long break.

The Lord is good.

 

 

But my hate is sooooo much stronger.

 

It means summer is here and a new routine to adjust to. And looking at the activities scheduled for the summer just means a different kind of stress. Basketball camp, church camp, cheer camp......coordinating to make sure everything will fit without overlapping. Cheerleading alone is going to take up a few days in June and the ENTIRE month of August for Kenzie. And then any incidentals along the way.....a break my big toe!!

 

 

 

 

 

It also means, my babies are another year older. Another year closer to an independent life. More importantly, and selfishly, another year closer to leaving me.

 

I don't know why it hits me so hard at the end of a school year and not so much on their birthdays, but it does. It just kills me to think about them not being under my protective wing anymore. That day is real and will be here sooner than I want. And it kills me to think about all the times I lose my cool with them, get so frustrated with them, even mad sometimes...all the while knowing that the clock is ticking and I'm not cherishing them the way I should. Not cherishing that the hectic, non-stop schedules are a blessing.....a blessing that's not going to last forever.

 

I look back at pictures when they were all so little. I thought the diaper phase was never going to end. I remember being so tired. I just wanted one full night's sleep...without any interruptions. They were so needy. I did everything for them. I dressed them, fed them, changed them, fixed their hair, carried them wherever we went, bathed them, put them to sleep, packed a bag any time we left the house...they were babies. And I was so tired. Feeling like it would never end.

 

They were going to be babies FOREVER!!!!!

 

 

And then I wake up today and realize.......I wish I could change that tiny little diaper one more time. Or rock Madison to sleep just one more time. Or look up and see that tiny little handprint that never seemed to go away on the glass door.

I don't do as much for them anymore. They do their own chores now, which means I do even less. I cook and do laundry....but the day is drawing near that I will have to hand those responsibilities over to them as well, if they plan to be independent adults. At that point, I will just be a bystander, waiting to correct a mistake, or give a pointer to make a task easier. Giving my advice and letting them make their own decision......

 

Things just keep changing.

 

And it's hard...to adjust.

 

 

My oldest just made a big decision for herself a few weeks ago. And it was hard for me to let her.

 I'm not sure that there's a single person out there that knows my family that doesn't know Kenzie's love for dance.

She's been dancing since she was almost three years old. If my memory serves me correctly, this year will be her 10th recital. A decade of dancing. And she loves it.

 

 

 

And she's good at it. She's worked hard.

When she started dancing, all those many years ago, she saw girls that looked just like this and said, "Someday I want to dance like that"

(in three year old lingo).

And now look at her. She made it.

Pancake skirt and toe-shoe dancing ballerina. Just what she dreamed of.

And when she dances in her recital in 18 days, it'll all be over for her.

She has decided to pursue sports and cheerleading here in Sunray, which was really difficult for her to choose. It's like she wanted me to tell her what to do. As hard as that was for me, I resisted. I wanted her to decide and be happy with it.

 

My heart broke a little when she told me.

 

But I kept a straight face and agreed with her.

The beginning of many, I'm sure.

 

 

 

 

 

UGH!!!!!! STUPID MAY!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Come June, I'll be fine and back to normal, I'm sure. But until then, I will cry my tears and be just fine. Just another parent dealing with life.....all the joys, disappointments and change.

 

 

Love your kids.

 

Hug them.

 

Kiss them.

 

Tell them.

 

Show them.

 



 



Tail Lights and Dust

Holy Moses y'all!

 

It's already April and so much is happening! It seems like life is busier than ever!! Which I seem to have a love/hate relationship with.

 

Sports in a small town is no joke. A season will end, and then a new one starts up the very next day.

To date, my oldest daughter has been in basketball, then track, off-season basketball started this morning, and cheerleading tryouts this Friday. And during all of this, she is managing ballet in Amarillo, band, National Junior Honors Society....it's never-ending!

 

 

And that's just ONE!!!!

 

My son has also done basketball and we are now in the midst of baseball season. Thankfully, his games haven't started up just yet. But when they do.......Dear Lord, just get me through May.
But, of course, he keeps himself busy with other things too.
Boy things.....

 

 

 

And my itty bitty has also given basketball a shot, and I have to tell ya. She surprised me out there on that court. She's a bossy little thing, telling these girls what's up like she's the coach. Lol. Pretty entertaining. And she is also continuing her ballet in Amarillo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making the list just raised my blood pressure, so.....moving on.

 

 

 

OH!!!! I have to tell y'all something real quick!!

So, you know on my last post I made a list of all the differences in small vs big town.....a new one has developed.

My youngest has been going with her 2nd grade class to the YMCA in Dumas this week and last for.......wait for it........

 

 

 

SWIMMING LESSONS!!!!

 

 

They actually miss half of the school day three days a week to take swimming lessons for FREE!!

 

Isn't that crazy?! Lol!! I've been sending her to school in her swim suit.
My brain cannot fathom.
Just craziness.

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, moving on.

 

 

 

 

So, we hit a milestone in our family this month. My oldest turned 13 for anyone that doesn't have a Facebook.......which is no one. So, I'm tellin ya again.


For all these years, I've had sympathy to the fact that her birthday is April Fool's Day, so I've left her alone and let all of her little school friends mess with her. But this year was different. She was turning 13 and really wanted a certain something for her birthday. She's always been very easy to please with no fancy requests, so I have NEVER heard the begging and pleading and deal-making shenanigans that this girl has shown us over the past several months.
So, my clever husband (I could never take credit for this) came up with such a simple, but down right evil April Fool's joke.

I'll let you see for yourself......

PURE EVIL!!!!! And completely hilarious!!! And she was a great sport about it.
She's been doing everything but selling her soul to the devil to get a phone....and there was the box.
iPhone 5s on the cover.
A prettier box just did not exist.
 Could this be?
Has it finally happened?



...........................................




NOPE!!! Bwhahaha!!!!
Instead, a pink baby iPhone.

I love that girl and her sense of humor.
Best April Fool's joke I've ever been a part of.
Good job, honey.


But we could never be so cruel to such a gentle soul if we weren't going to follow it up with the real deal.
(this, too, was my husband's idea)

Her little squeal at the end is my favorite. I probably listened to that 100 times.
If you missed it, watch it again. So cute. :)

So, now we have a teenager and a bigger cell phone bill. Lol.

Eh. Life.


Ok, changing pace...

So, earlier this year, I talked about the goals I have set for myself to work on: confidence and self-esteem. I wrote about it so it could be known and I could be held accountable. And I tell you what....I am being tested!! In a really great way, but man oh man. I've never wanted something so bad!!!
And the ONLY way to achieve said "want" is to be confident and believe I can.
Believe in me.

The fear of failure has held me back from sooooo many things, but this?? I want it too bad, so I keep telling myself, "The only way to fail is to quit". And I KNOW I'm not a quitter.

But how profound.....I have sat back, most of my life, and watched countless of opportunities go by for so many different things. And my thought has always been,

"if you don't try, then you won't fail".

How dumb!!!!
I've missed out on so much!! And guess what......I FAILED anyway.

Why???

Because I didn't even try!!!!
LOL!
SLAP. MYSELF.


Well, not anymore. Not this. I believe in it and I believe in myself.

I WILL.

I WILL UNTIL.

Sorry for being vague, but just know it's happening. Lives will change and it will be because I believed in me.

Love ya!!!! 

Small Town Livin'.....Y'all

So, growing up my entire life as a "city girl", moving to a small.....SMALL.....town, I have noticed quite a few differences in life. So, I thought I'd share for those that have never had these experiences and for those that will think I'm ridiculous for thinking this is anything but normal.

 

 

1. Your mail is not delivered to your residence.

I was aware that PO Box's existed before now, just never had one. Not a big deal, just kinda weird not walking out to your mailbox, but kinda nice because we won't have to change anything when we move. ;)

 

 

2. This one's kind of a Duh one, but it's so weird to finally experience it.....everyone knows and/or are related to everyone. Living in Amarillo is nothing more than seeing new people every single day of your life. And possibly never seeing those same people ever again in your existence of living.

Conclusion??

Be. Nice. To. Everyone.

 

 

3. Because of #2, I have experienced this.....awkward stares and unsettled smiles as if I carry some kind of disease when I go into any store in town. It's like they know me because they don't. Odd.

 

 

4. People wave at you when you drive by.

I've lived here for almost 8 months now.....why can't I remember to do this?? So, most likely, I have been pegged as the "snobby driver in the red Highlander".....since people also know what everyone drives around here. Eventually, I will remember....of course by then, people will probably have stopped waving at me. Lol. My bad.

 

 

5. I am not a fan of Dairy Queen.

The End.

 

 

6. When discussing with a person about another person's home, they do not refer to addresses. They refer to previous owners.

Mind. Blown.

 

 

7. If you have a child in school here, they will play sports. No need to try out. Everyone makes the team. Kind of like Kids Inc. in A-town.....except Kids Inc. is not a thing here.

 

 

8. Ok, I mentioned the kids' school. I have a 2nd grader, 3rd grader and 7th grader....I drop them off at the same building. (insert "shocked" emoji) Oh, and when my 7th grader finally makes it to a different school than the younger siblings, she will no longer have a cafeteria. Pure insanity, I tell you!!!

 

 

9. Which brings me to one of the tougher things I've had to deal with since moving here.

 

MY CHILDREN PLAY IN THE STREET, STAY HOME ALONE AFTER SCHOOL FOR TWO HOURS AND MY 12 YEAR OLD WALKS TO ALLSUPS FOR LUNCH!!!...........and here, that does not make me a bad parent. Just a parent that now suffers from high blood pressure. Lol....no, seriously.

 

 

10. One last observation about the school system....ok, two.

 

My graduating class had more students than the entire Sunray ISD.

A couple weeks ago, my kids were out of school for a "ski day".

I have no words.

 

 

11. Even though not everyone gets along, this community is tight.

Our City Manager unexpectedly passed away a few months ago. The entire town shut down and school was closed so that everyone could attend his funeral. That was pretty powerful to me.

You sure don't see that in Amarillo.

 

 

12. There are literally no houses for sale, so we have to build. I'm ok with that. :)

 

 

13. There are no stop lights here.

Not. One.

I have developed road rage when visiting A-town.

 

 

14. People are in slow motion. Seriously. No one speeds here.

It's like Mr. Roger's neighborhood. People waving to each other. Driving all slow. Kids playing in the street.

 

 

 

And last, but not least...for now....

 

 

15. I am 20 miles away from the nearest Wal-Mart, and our cute little "grocery store" closes at dusk.

Being organized and prepared has taken a new meaning.

If you're up with a sick kid puking everywhere in the middle of the night, you better hope Allsups has what you need, because it's the only thing open 24 hours a day.

 

 

 

Lol. This was a fun list to make. And I really am really liking it here.

Things are just so different in our world, but I wouldn't change a thing.

 

 

But there is one last thing that I have realized.............

 

 

 

 

I have never in my entire life wanted a horse more than I do now!!!

The answer continues to be "no" almost daily.

 

 

 

 

I have decided........I would be satisfied with a goat.  :)

 

 

 

 Well, that's all for now.

Love ya!!